Jason Hayes

Libertarian thought, policy, religion, the environment, tech, coffee, and Tabasco – the stuff of life
This is my personal blog - the thoughts and ideas expressed here are posted on my own time and are mine and mine alone.

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Merry Christmas

Huckabee ad brings out the anti-Christian crazies

Presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee recently released an ad in which he actually suggested that Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Christ and spending time with friends and family.

Not surprisingly, the anti-Christian crazies are running around like Chicken Little, screeching about his having injected religion into politics and the season.

Here’s the ad,

What’s even more funny is that the fringe has managed to push the issue into so-called mainstream news programs. (Either that, or the MSM is actually on the fringe and they thought the complaint was valid.) Check out this interview with Meredith Vieira, on the Today Show (12-19-07). Vieira actually spent a full 2 minutes and 24 seconds of air time trying to “get to the bottom” of this story, talking about floating crosses, a “Christian Campaign”, and claiming that Huckabee had created “an overt religious appeal” with the ad.

What is the matter with people today?

IT’S CHRISTMAS!!! Christmas IS about celebrating the birth of Christ – thus the first syllable in the word “Christmas” … Christ … mas. If you are so insanely sensitive about religion that a commercial with a Baptist minister saying the “c” word and admitting that Christmas is about Christ’s birth and family and friends sends your life into a tailspin, you need to start locking yourself in a dark room for the month of December.

Huckabee can’t say it, because he is running for office, but I will. I’m sick and tired of all the politically correct, brain dead whiners out there. You people incessantly preach and pontificate about the need to celebrate diversity and embrace other cultures and beliefs, but when “diversity” actually arrives on your doorstep you kvetch and complain about it.

If you don’t like Christmas, or the idea of religion around this time of year, don’t celebrate. Hold a Festivus celebration, or sit there like a Grinch or Scrooge and mutter “humbug” to yourself. You can even lock yourself in the above noted dark room if you like. Just leave the rest of us alone.

If you celebrate Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, good for you. When someone wishes you a Merry Christmas, say, “and a Happy Hanukkah,” or “and a Happy Kwanzaa” back to them.

Some may see this as a defense of Huckabee. In truth, I don’t really even like Huckabee as a candidate. What I am doing is expecting a reasonable response from the pc-crowd out there. Mike Huckabee, Christians and Christian traditions aren’t hurting you at all and there’s nothing evil or foreboding in this Christian holiday.

So get off of your high, self-righteous horse. Stop taking yourselves so seriously. Get a life and move on.

Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday

This song is hilarious.

Don’t say the “C” word, you might offend someone.

Twelve Days of Christmas

I was listening to the radio this evening and heard the John Denver with the Muppets version of “the 12 Days of Christmas.”

Being a cheery sort of guy, I tried to hum along and sang a few of the lines with old Johnny. Problem was that I was so thoroughly corrupted by my Canadian upbringing that I couldn’t remember the words properly. The words to Bob and Doug McKenzie’s 12 Days of Christmas kept creeping in and I couldn’t seem to stop them.

So, rather than fight it, here you go – enjoy.

Santa Claus – an engineer’s perspective

Here’s post #2 on the Christmas theme – enjoy and Merry Christmas!!


(first posted 19 Dec ’03)
In keeping with the holiday spirit, I figured I would dig out an amusing e-mail I received last year from a friend in BC. The text of the mail gives all the detailed facts and figures relating to Santa and his yearly trip around the world. He apparently received it from an engineer friend, which explains the math (and the title).

Good fun for the whole family! Enjoy.

SANTA CLAUS: AN ENGINEER’S PERSPECTIVE

  • Santa

    There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18 ) in the world, however since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.

  • Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say, that for every Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000 of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purpose of our calculations). We are talking about 1.25 Km per household, a total of 120.8 million Km, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa’s sleigh is moving at 1040 Km per second……..3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 43.8 Km per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 25 Km per hour.
  • The pay load of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds, even granting that the “flying” reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can’t be done with eight or even nine of them……Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
  • Jello

    600,000 tons traveling at 1040 Km per second creates enormous air resistance….this would heat up the lead reindeer in the same fashion as a space shuttle re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 1040 k p s in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 G’s. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

  • Therefore, if Santa did exist, he’s dead now.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

No “Happy Holidays” zone (reprinted)

I’m reprinting two of my previous Christmas posts here. I guess they’re becoming a tradition.

Continuing my theme from last year, I refuse refer to the Christmas season in some bland, politically correct term, such as “the holidays”.

Given the big push by the PC crowd over the past few days to have Christ removed from Christmas and God removed from Hanukkah.

Given the struggle by the so-called “progressives” amongst us, to have Christmas turned into a bland, non-specific, inoffensive “holiday”.

Given the demand by the revisionists amongst us to pretend that Canada and the US do not have a Judeo-Christian heritage and history.

I am declaring this site to be a “no happy holidays zone”.

In keeping with that theme, I was happy to see a British politician, who recognized that the celebration of Christian traditions is no more offensive than the celebration of Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, or any other traditions.

At a time when Britain’s multiculturalism is fast turning into often misplaced political correctness, a Punjabi Christian councillor in the west Midlands town of Wolverhampton has been credited with bringing Christmas back to the country.

For years, in keeping with the multicultural ethos, the town would herald Christmas with the politically correct slogan of ‘Welcome’ in the display of lights – this was spelt in several languages, including Punjabi. Wolverhampton has a significant population of Punjab origin people.

But Elias Mattu, 46, a Punjabi Christian councillor, campaigned within the local council to include the word ‘Christmas’ in the public display in lights that is funded by the council.

Now thanks to his efforts, the public display of lights costing 150,000 pounds has been switched on with the words ‘Happy Christmas,’ rather than the bland and politically correct ‘Welcome’.

Of particular importance was this fellow’s reasoning for the changed display.

Mattu said: “Some officials seemed to think that the word Christmas might offend some minorities. But I pointed out that in India we have more than 500 religions and we have no problem getting on with minorities.

“I don’t know of a single minority in Britain which is offended by the mention of Christmas. I believe it was easier for me, as an Asian, to argue this case. I think all faiths should be accepted equally – but not at the expense of Christianity.

“Muslims, Sikhs and Hindus I’ve spoken to here all join in with it. It is patronising to suggest they’re offended. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ and by removing the word Christmas from the lights I think it erodes Christian values.”

The more we try to not offend by neutering any public display or reference to some tradition, the more we lose the thing that we are so often told to embrace. By diminishing tradition (Christian or otherwise), we irrationally give up the very diversity we are told to celebrate.

Mrs. Fields still celebrates Christmas

A few days ago, I put up a post noting that Mrs. Fields — the cookie maker — was canceling Christmas in favor of the ‘holiday’ season. I’m happy to note that I just received an email from the customer service people at Mrs. Fields stating that the whole issue was based on a misunderstanding. Mrs. Fields will be selling Christmas-themed items. You can see them right now on their website – http://www.mrsfields.com/categories/Christmas_Gifts

To be completely fair to them, I am reprinting their email so they can get their side of the story out.

Subject: Christmas at Mrs. Fields
From: Mrs. Fields Gifts Customer Service
To: customerservice@mrsfieldsgifts.com
Date: 2007-10-15 6:59 pm

Thank you for your recent email. We would like to take this opportunity to ease any concerns you may have about a rumor that Mrs. Fields is banning Christmas items. Please rest assured that we have a complete line of Christmas and other seasonal items that will all be rolled out on November 1st, and we look forward to sharing them with you then.

Here are some facts we would like you to know:

1) We do have Christmas items, we have had them in the past, and we will have them in the future. The rumor that Mrs. Fields does not sell Christmas items is incorrect. A customer received incorrect details from our customer service center on our upcoming Christmas specific products last week, and we apologize for this miscommunication. The communications error has been addressed.

2) We offer our Christmas items in November and December of each year. During other times of the year, these items are not available to purchase as customers normally are not interested in buying them. In the month of October, we focus on our fall line-up.

3) If you wish to preview our upcoming Christmas gifts, we have made these items viewable early this year at www.MrsFields.com. The packaging materials for many of these items, which takes three to four months to manufacture and be transported, will not be at our bakery until November 1st, so you will see that many of the items are not available until that time for shipment.

Again, we apologize for this miscommunication. To express how much your interest in Mrs. Fields means to us, we would like to offer you a 10% discount on your next Mrs. Fields order so you can see the great items we offer firsthand. To receive your discount, simply order by December 1st and enter the code —I removed the code — at checkout on our website.

From the Mrs. Fields’ kitchen to yours, we hope to help to make your 2007 celebrations warmer, brighter and tastier.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Fields Customer Service

So it seems the whole issue was much ado about nothing. I, for one, am happy to report that I was wrong on this issue and that I can get a correction out so quickly.

I really am getting tired of the whole, ‘don’t you dare say the “C” word’ routine and I am glad that the folks at Mrs. Fields have not fallen prey to that sort of politically correct stupidity. So Merry Christmas and why don’t you go have a cookie to celebrate.

Back to the ‘happy holidays’ foolishness

There is an update to this post here. Mrs. Fields is still celebrating Christmas and will sell Christmas-related items on their website and in their stores.

————————————————————–

It appears that the big cookie seller, Mrs. Fields, has joined the ranks of the politically correct, brain dead, “happy holidays” crowd.

Mrs. Fields has become the first company to ban Christmas from their products and promotion for this year.

I thought that we had managed to finish off this pc stupidity last year, but it seems that at least one company has to pull this foolishness out of their bag of tricks every year.

Here’s the text of the letter that I wrote to Mrs. Fields, I suggest you send them something similar. (Feel free to cut and paste this letter if you want.)

I recently read that your store has disallowed the use of the term “Christmas” in any of your ads or products this year. I also read that you have made this decision as a means of avoiding potential “offenses” to those who do not celebrate Christmas.

Please note that despite your efforts to avoid offending anyone, your decision is an offense to myself and many others who do celebrate Christmas.

Given your choice to purposefully exclude the majority of North Americans who do celebrate Christmas and to snub the Christian religion, I will be sure to avoid “offending” you and your staff with any of my Christmas budget. I will not be shopping at your stores or on your website during this Christmas season or any other time. I will also encourage my family, friends, and others to avoid your stores and products.

Sincerely
Jason Hayes

————————————————————

Again, there is an update to this post here. Mrs. Fields is still celebrating Christmas and will sell Christmas-related items on their website and in their stores.

Merry Christmas